Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize