It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize