Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
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You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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