What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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