Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize