ya dads aren't the best wingmen
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize