Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize