i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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