help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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