There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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