I love black thongs
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize