I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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