You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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