I am in a vortex of obligation.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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