very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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