First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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