Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Buhtt sex?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
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Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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