The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize