margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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