Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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