Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize