hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
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the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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