i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
bring money and cleavage
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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