I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think i have herpe
just one?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
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There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
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Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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