Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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