I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize