So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize