my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize