Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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