dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
ok first of all what the fuck
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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