I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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