what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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