I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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