She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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