Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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