I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it's great music for shaving your balls
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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