Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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