I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize