We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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