OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize