i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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