I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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