you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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