i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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