watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize