I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
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But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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