I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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