you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
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It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
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You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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