I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We are two peas in an std pod
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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