Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize