Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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