I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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